So.. yesterday the "healty" part of me got its voice heard and I decided to listen. Bad idea.. bad!

It said; "oh, come on, you don't have an eatingdisorder, it's all in your head. prove Ana wrong now, let's have pizza!". 

Easily fooled me saying; "I don't? Maybe I don't... maybe you're right! But She doesn't want to. She doesn't. I can't. I don't want to". This is followed by voices in my head having an argument.

Stupid, stupid "healty" part won the discussion of course.

40 minutes later.. Me diving head first  in the toilet.

you think I might have learned from this. Nope.. same thing happened today. I've got to stop listening..

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