Direktlänk till inlägg 16 september 2008

The schizofrenic anorectic

Av fortytwo - 16 september 2008 02:01

There are two parts of me.


There's the bigger, stronger, sick part that always seems to win, no mather what. The part of me that listens to Ana and obeys her. The part full of anxiety, misery and pain. The part that refuses to eat. The part that Ana calls strong.


Then there's a much smaller part that mostly stays hidden. It hides from Ana because it doesn't like her. That feeling is mutual, Ana doesn't like this part eighter. She wants to destroy it. And I want her to destroy it, beacause it makes me weak, it makes me refuse Ana's rules and disappoint her. It makes me fail. This is the part Ana calls weak.


Only thing is.. Every time this part comes out of its shelter, it says: "Hey! I'm the stronger part! you don't need Ana, she's no good for you. She lies. You and me, we can live without her."


It makes me confused, and I don't know who to listen to.. Because Ana wouldn't lie now, would she?  

 

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